Clonapatra

The Chronicles of SpitNTurds2...Da Clone..continues

2009-02-08T17:06:00.000-08:00

Person1: SpitNTurds2 question for you what's with the baby talk?

Person 2: Rofl here we go rofl.

Person 1: Her dad was a baby and her mom could talk

SpitNTurds2: I am the daughter of a Clone and the heir of all things cloned, blogged, and logged.

Person 3: What the heck does THAT mean SpitNTurds2?

SpitNTurds2: My parents were Clones and I inherited their lack of original DNA.

Person 2: Rofl heir of all things cloned, rofl sounds like DUH to me.

Person 1: But WHY would you talk in baby talk, clone another’s screen name and log and blog all day?

SpitNTurds2: The logs and blogs are a tribute to my heritage, I have no original thoughts you know. I am related to the Great and Powerful Oz.

Person 3: Rofl with a screenname like that we know why SpitNTurds sits in the chatroom 24/7, she hasn’t had a real job since her 5150. Oh wait, she doesn’t need one, her room mate makes enough on waitressing tips to pay for all her needs.

Person 2: Rofl yeah who is going to hire someone who talks to herself and sits in a chatroom all freaking day, rofl, rofl.

SpitNTurds2: I am a da Clone, I do what the voices tell me, I log and blog all da time….

Person 1: SpitNTurds2 how the heck do you pay your bills if you don’t work?

Person 2: Rofl clone lol lol, SpitNTurds2 doesn’t need to work, she just lets the “Ex”, I mean the roommate pull the load.

Person 3: Gawd does SpitNTurds2 really think any one still believes that crap she spews?

SpitNTurds2: I am da Clone, I am da One, bow down to the One.

Person 2: Rofl you go back into your attic SpitNTurds2 and let the voices tell you what to do, rofl….can someone please check the Pennysaver, I am sure a Village has posted a wanted ad about their missing nutcase.

Person 3: Gawd SpitNTurds2’s fantasy life gets weirder every time it's told lol

Person 1: So where do you live SpitNTurds2? I know you lost the apartment in Savannah when your “pet” robbed er bit all your neighbors.

SpitNTurds2: I am in the great state of Confusion…..bow to my will….the voices tend to me.

Person 3: Rofl translation ... in the back seat of the nearest police car being taken to the nearest psych unit, rofl.

Person 2: Or in the rubber room at the jail, rofl, lol.

Person 1: How do the voices tend to you SpitNTurds2? What does that mean?

SpitNTurds2: It means what it means…I yam what I yam.

Person 1: Okay I should have known I wouldn't get an intelligent answer. I should have asked your voices, rofl, lmao.

The Clone's Tribute to its Voices - Do You Hear What I Hear

2009-02-06T17:07:00.000-08:00

Said da Scary Voices to da Clone,
"Do ya see what we see?
Look around ya now wittle Clone
Do ya see what we see
A blog, a blog, written late at night
All your secrets in full sight
All your secrets in full sight."

Said da Scary Voices to da Clone,
"Do you hear what we hear?
Running through your mind wittle Clone
A song, a song, the song is about you
Its okay we will tell you what to do
Its okay we will tell you what to do

Said da Scary Voices to da Clone
"Do you know what we know?
In your mind your mind you know you're number one
Do you know what we know
Run Clone, run Clone, when they catch ya all alone
They will give ya haldol and respiridone
They will give ya haldol and respiridone

Said da Clone to da Voices everywhere
"Listen to what I say!!
I will prey on everyone, everywhere
Listen to what I say!!
I'm da Clone da Clone logging all da time
I will blog and blog cause I've lost my friggin' mind

What the Clone Needs Now

2009-02-05T19:44:00.000-08:00

What the Clone needs now is meds,
More meds
It's the only thing
That keeps the voices silent
What the Clone needs now
Is meds, more meds
I’m praying she’ll get some
But so does everyone

Clone, we don't need another fake
There are fakes and morons
Enough to click
There are loggers and bloggers
Enough to toss
Even your village
Is feeling a loss

What the Clone needs now is drugs,
More drugs
It's the only thing that the Clone has
Too little of
What the Clone needs now is drugs,
More drugs
Hallucinations are not real
No matter how you feel

Clone, we don't need another nutcase
There are nutcases
And fruitloops we don't want to know
There are screwloose and wingnuts
They all need to GO
You have no independent thought
You''re little more than a bot

What the Clone needs now is shock therapy,
More shock therapy
It's the only thing that the Clone
Has really ever known
What the Clone needs now is shock therapy,
More shock therapy
Your stories are not true
The voices are lying to you

The Clone's One Bourbon, One Scotch, and One Beer

2009-02-03T05:28:00.001-08:00

Wanna tell you a story,
About the Clonie blues
The Clone come home one Friday,
Had to tell the landlady she'd lost her job
Landlady said that don't confront me
Long as I get my money next Friday
Now next Friday come Clone didn't get the rent,
And out the door it went

So the Clone goes to the landlady,
Clone said, "You let me slide?"
Clone said she'd have the rent in a month
Next, she don't know
So Clone said let me slide it on you people
Clone noticed that when she come home in the evening
Landlady ain't got nothing nice to say
But for five years she was so nice
Lordy, she was lovey-dovey
Clone come home one particular evening
The landlady said, "You got the rent money yet?"
Clone said, "No, can't find no job."
Therefore Clone ain't got no money to pay the rent
Landlady said, "I don't believe you're trying to find no job."
Said, "I see you today you standing on a corner,
Talking to yourself."
Clone said, "But I'm tired, I've been hallucinating all day."
Landlady said, "That don't confront me,
Long as I get my money next Friday."
Now next Friday come and the Clone didn't have the rent,
And out the door it went

So the Clone went down the streets
Down to a good friend's house
Clone said, "Look man I'm outdoors you know,
Can I stay with you maybe a couple days?"
Friend said, "Let me go ask the partner."
Friend come out of the house,
Clone could see it in her friend's face
Clone knew that it was no
Friend said, "I don't know man, you kinda strange, you know."
Clone said, "I know i'm kinda strange, now you strange too."
So the Clone went back home
Clone tells the landlady she got a job, she is gonna pay the rent
Land lady said, "Yeah?" Clone said, "Oh yeah."
And then the landlady was oh so nice
Lordy she was lovey-dovey

So the Clone goes in her room, packs up her things and goes.
She slips on out the back door and down the streets she went
The landlord's a howlin' about the front rent, she'll be lucky to get the back rent,
She ain't gonna get none of it
So the Clone stops in the local bar you know people,
She goes to the bar, she hangs her coat, she calls the bartender
Clone said, "Look man, come down here", he got down there
Bartender says, "So what you want?"

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
Well the Clone ain't seen her baby since we know when
She's been drinking bourbon, whiskey, scotch and gin
She is gonna get high man she is gonna get loose
She has the DT's and needs her a triple shot of that juice
She is gonna get drunk don't you have no fear
She wants one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

But the Clone's sitting now at the bar
She's getting drunk, she's feeling mellow
She's drinking bourbon, she's drinking scotch, she's drinking beer
She looked down the bar, here comes the bartender
Clone says, "Look man, come down here."
Bartenders says, "So what you want?"

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
No she ain't seen her baby since the year before last
She has gotta get a drink man she's gotta get gassed
She is gonna get high man she ain't had enough
She needs a triple shot of that stuff
She gonna get drunk won't you listen right here
She wants one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

Now by this time the Clone is plenty high
Her mouth is a getting dry, she is plenty high
She looked down the bar and says to the bartender
Clone says, "Look man, come down here", bartender got down there
Bartender says, "So what you want this time?"
Bartender says, "The clock on the wall says three o'clock
Last call for alcohol, so what you need?"

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
No the Clone ain't seen her baby since the Atlanta meet
Gotta get drunk man she can't even speak
Gonna get high man listen to me
One drink ain't enough she has to have three
She wants to get drunk, she is gonna make it real clear
She wants one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

The Clone - Ms. Pathetica

2009-02-02T17:45:00.000-08:00

HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa....the clone has no original thoughts anymore....ya lost it ya idiot...what was the final coup de grace? The songs? You're so vain, you probably thought the songs were about you, didn't you? Didn't you? Come here clonie, clonie...I'll be your Huckleberry....

The Clone Drinks Alone

2009-02-01T05:47:00.000-08:00

The Clone drinks alone, yeah
With nobody else
It drinks alone, yeah
With nobody else
You know why it drinks alone
The voices prefer to be by themselves

Every morning just before breakfast
The Clone don't want no coffee or tea
Just it, the voices and good buddy Wiser
That's all it ever needs
'Cause it drinks alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know why it drinks alone
The voices prefer to be by themselves

The other night the Clone lay plotting
And it awoke with terrible "DTs"
So it called up its pal Jack Daniels
And its partner Jimmy Beam
And they drank alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know why it drinks alone
The voices prefer to be by themselves

The other day the Clone got invited to a party
But the Clone stayed home instead
Just it and its pal Johnny Walker
And his brothers Black and Red
And they drank alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know why it drinks alone
The voices prefer to be by themselves

The Clone's whole family done gave up on it
And it makes it feel oh so bad
The only one who will hang out with it
Is the Clone's dear Old Grand-Dad
And they drink alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know why it drinks alone
The voices prefer to be by themselves

Imagine There's No Clonie

2009-01-27T17:56:00.000-08:00

Imagine there’s no Clonie
It’s easy if you try
No one to log or blog us
No one to even try
Imagine the Clonie, gone for all eternity

Imagine there’s no Clonie
It would be an easy thing to do
The logs and blogs would disappear
And no bullchyt stories too
Imagine the Clonie, gone for all eternity

Imagine no more Clonie
I wonder if you can
No need for lies and stories
A sisterhood of women
Imagine, not one Clonie in the whole wide world

The Clone may say
We are liars, but we know just what she wants
It’s psychotic dream is to to bash others
With its logs, blogs, lies, and fonts

The Chronicles of Lies

2009-01-27T17:11:00.000-08:00

As previous reiterated...I did say I would add to the Neverending Story of The Clone. This fictitious person, has now moved to another city, in part because its address was identified. Anyway, the Clone can run but it can't hide. It is a sad person indeed who is so lonely and so vindictive that she/he/it/CLONE must falsify a supposed conversation that she "supposedly" logged. It is now apparent that she has NO NEW information regarding the persons she refers to as "Unchained Melody, Weasel the Beagle, and Whiny45 the drunk." She makes up stories in order to justify to her Cronies her continued bash of others. Her name is well known, and her newest address near Elmhurst, off of the China Hwy, is already available and in "print". I will send out emails when further information is available.....keep the ims and laughs coming, muahhhhhhhh

Just Another Nut In The Hall

2009-01-25T11:57:00.000-08:00

We don't need no fabrication
We don't need no clone control
No dark sarcasm in the chatroom
Clonie leave them regs alone
Hey! Clonie! Leave them regs alone!

All in all it's just another nut in the hall
All in all you're just another nut in the hall

We don't need no fabrication
We don't need no clone control
No dark sarcasm in the chatroom
Clonie leave them regs alone
Hey! Clonie! Leave them regs alone!

All in all it's just another nut in the hall
All in all you're just another nut in the hall

"Wrong, log it again!"
"If you don't log the room, you can't trash anybody.
How can you trash anybody if you don't log the room?"
"You! Yes, you behind the screen, stand still Clonie!"

Sitting In The Morning Sun

2009-01-21T19:55:00.000-08:00

Sitting in the morning sun
I'll be sitting when the evening comes
Watching the Clone go in
Then watching her come out again

I'm sitting in my car all day
Watching the Clone walk this way
Ohhh, I'm sitting in my car all day
Taking my time

I left my home for Georgia
Headed for the Jones Mill Road
Cause I've had nothing to play with
Now I have the Clone to goad

So, I'm just gonna sit in the car all day
Watching the Clone walk this way
Ohh, I'm sitting in the car all day
Taking my time

Looks like the Clone's never gonna change
The logs and blogs remain the same
She can't do what the voices tell her to do
So I guess she'll remain insane, yeah

Now, I'm just gonna sit in the car all day
Watching the Clone walk this way
Ohh, I'm sitting in the car all day
Taking my time

Clonie We Got Your Number

2009-01-20T19:38:00.000-08:00

Hey
Clonie, Clonie, who can you turn to?
You need someone you can now "talk" to
You think we're like the voices before
Who see the Clonie as a total bore

Clonie, we got your number
We don't want you to hesitate
Please pick up when we dial
867-3458
867-3458
867-3458
836-3458

Are you the Clonie from the park?
You know us, we live down the lane
We tried to call you but we lost our nerve
You aren't disturbed, just a little insane

Clonie don't change your number
No need to make us wait
Clonie we got your number
867-3458
867-3458
867-3458
867-3458

We got it, we got it, we got it
We got your number on the wall
We got it, we got it, we got it
For a good Clone, for a good Clone call

Clonie don't change your number
We don't need to wait
Clonie we will call your number
867-3458
867-3458
867-3458
867-3458

The Clone...the beginning

2009-01-20T06:18:00.001-08:00

I've gotten a lot of emails wanting to know where the fictional character The Clone and her gang of sock puppets live. The answer, of course, is in a fictional world. And the conversations are from a fictional "meet". Here's the background.....

In years gone by, The Clone, then known as BC (before the clone), was a respected member of the online community. She resided in the fictional land of LaCrosse. This land is located near the fictional land called Clinton's Daughterville....but I digress. She lived, worked, and socialized among her peers, both online, as well as in public. At that time, she was very much involved in promoting health, both physical and mental. Sad to see she has deviated so far away...anyway, she masterminded several meets, all with the intent of luring a certain ethereal femme into her web. Alas, the femme saw her as she really was, not a butch at all, but a fake in purple pants and the femme chose to be "friends" only. This maddened BC to the point of a complete mental breakdown....BC then surrounded herself with her adoring Cronies...a group of sock puppets that she could control with the wave of her hand....all of them easily led with the crumb of attention....but I digress again....anyway, this saga took place many years ago, and BC has not heard or seen her "mark" since then. This explains the constant, old, repetitive stories, ad nauseum, which the Clone perpetuates continuously , in an effort to retaliate what she perceived as rejection, by adding her own "slant" on them. Such a sad case of total mental illness. When she constantly adds fictitious lies to her neverending stories it appears to be like the child's game of telegraph....the ending is nothing like the beginning. Anyway....I just wanted to let people know how the saga started.

From the emails, you are saying you want to hear more "stories" regarding the history of the Clone and her Cronies so I will include more of those when I have time. I am in the process of composing more songs. For now, enjoy and keep the laughs and emails coming. I appreciate the inspiration.

Way Over Yonder

2009-01-14T21:01:00.000-08:00

Way over yonder...is a Clone that I know
Where it's intellectual banter is just a show
And the logs and the blogs will be read with such ease
Way over yonder...in the land of Sleaze

I know when I read them, the first thing I'll see
Is the lack of mental acumen and its stupidity
Then the Clone's gonna lose me, I will leave it behind
And I will stand up proudly, shouting YOU NEED TO READ MINE!!

Way over yonder....is a Clone that I've seen
In it's world of self interest, in it's psychotic dream

Maybe tomorrow the Clone will find a new way
To log the chatrooms and be online chatting all day
And the logs and the blogs awill be read with such ease
Way over yonder...in the land of Sleaze

Da Never Endin' Clone....

2009-01-14T20:21:00.000-08:00

It is really sad to see that the clone has allowed itself to be caught up in its own drama to the point that it is effecting its own blog. I have always appreciated the fact that the clone did, at one time, have a good grasp of English grammar and was able to use it in a way that, yes I can say this, had some wit to it. Unfortunately, as its obvious mental illness, or dementia, hard to tell, progresses, it has become much more obvious that the clone is no longer able to function at the level that it previously had enjoyed. Rather than hate and deride the poor thing, I know for a fact that there are several social workers among the group....please, please, a referral is now needed....please send the clone the numbers to the Alzheimer's Association, Bipolar Society, NutsRUs, anything that could stop this slow, and sad cognitive decline. Where is the challenge? Where is the soft banter? Where is the Coup and Contracoup of intellectual debate? Lost to the neurofibrillary tangles that now are so obvious in the clone's writings and discourse....Wait...Aricept, Reminyl, Cognex, yesssssssssss....there is hope that the Saga will continue....Until the prescription arrives....keep the laughs and emails coming....

The Saga of Da Clone Continues.......

2009-01-14T19:04:00.000-08:00

Some of you have asked if the fictional character the Clone has any friends. The simple answer is … not really given the fact that the Clone...makes a life out of pretending it has a job when it sits online 24/7. But that is another story for another time. The Clone doesn't have any friends. Well wait, can you call a hand a friend? I guess you could if it was your nondominant one or if it had a sock puppet on it. Yes then I guess it does have a friend. The purpose of the sock puppet is to idolize the Clone, to be intimate with the Clone, and to berate anyone who a) would not hold the Clone up on it's pedestal, b) would not agree that every word spoken by Clone is gospel truth (Coptic original, people), c) would contradict the Clone's logs and blogs regarding any and all situations (cut and paste, rofl), d) would challenge the Clone's supposed educational level (or lack of), e) would not subject themselves to the totally bogus BS spoon fed by the Clone, etc, etc, etc (you get the idea). You wanted to know the fictional names of any friends the Clone has, well there are none. I will give you the fictional names of the “sock puppets" though....Shackwiffamoat, Groundskeeper, Citrus, SpunkNFunk, CanIhaveanearJack, Moronica, and RealMentalMidget.Yes, each one of these "sock puppets" has a story and I will be including those stories in future Clone postings.....Until then Au Revoir and keep the emails and laughs coming....

Another Clone Bites The Dust!

2009-01-14T16:29:00.000-08:00

The Clone lurks constantly in the room
With it’s mask pulled way down low
Ain’t no sound but the sound of its lies
Logging and blogging ready to go
Are you ready, are you ready for this
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat
Out of its blog it’s threats will come
To match it’s constant bleat!

Another Clone bites the dust
Another Clone bites the dust
And another Clone gone, and another Clone gone
Another Clone bites the dust
Hey, Clone, we’re onto you
Another Clone bites the dust

How do you think we are going to get along
Without you when you’re gone?
We will party all day and party all night
And sing the Yay the Clone is Gone Song

Another Clone bites the dist
Another Clone bites the dust
Another Clone bites the dust
Another Clone bites the dust

There are plenty of ways you can deal with a Clone
And bring it to it’s knees
You can tell the voices to laugh at it
Then call it names, call it a Sleaze

But we’re ready, yes we’re ready for you
We’re sick of the little freak
We'll kick you out the doorway
You're an idiot, you stupid geek

Another Clone bites the dust
Another Clone bites the dust
Another Clone bites the dust
And another one yeah, and another one yeah
And another Clone bites the dust

2009-01-13T20:49:00.000-08:00

We Will We Will Click YOU!

Clone you're a joke, a fake with no real play
Lurkin' in da chatroom, logging and blogging all day
Ya got cow pies on yo' face, Ya big disgrace
We're kickin' your can all over da place

We will we will click YOU!
We will we will click YOU!

Clone you're an old fool, total dumb nuts
Shoutin' in da street dont take no guts
Ya got cow pies on yo' face, Ya big disgrace
Showin' your stupidity all over da place

We will we will click YOU!
We will we will click YOU!

Clone you're an old fool, total nut case
Sitting 24/7 in da chatroom takin' up space
Ya got cow pies on yo'face, Ya big disgrace
We know how to put ya back into your place

We will we will click YOU!
We will we will click YOU!Alright!

The Saga of The Clone

2009-01-13T19:19:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, in a chatroom, far far away, the clone showed up one day. The clone was totally fixated on the one thing that it could not have, its true namesake. Its namesake had rejected it for what is now most obvious to all, it was plain NUTS. That is another saga in and of itself. Anyway, the poor thing had a total and psychotic breakdown....spending its days and nights alone and forlorn lurking 24/7 in a chatroom. Day after day, month after month, as it yearned for its namesake, it became less and less lucid. Attacking without mercy, that which it could not have. It didn't take rejection well. Even though it's namesake no longer frequented online, it continued to attack, posting blog after blog, full of lies and hatred all because it had eluded her. The poor thing, to this day, sits in a chatroom, 24/7, blogging away about the one that got away....sad to see what unrequitted love can do. Perhaps a visit to a psychiatrist, and an appropriate blood level of any current phenothiazine could help. One could only hope. When I see its forlorn name, sitting sadly in the corner, sans chat of course, makes me think of the story of the 3 billy goats gruff. The meanest and cruelest goat of all was the one who had nothing. More stories to come.......

Come and See Da Clone, It's a Monotone

2009-01-13T19:10:00.000-08:00

Ode to Da Clone
hey ya hi ya hello there
what you been up 2
luv them cycles
hey ya hi ya hello there
wb sugah babe

Welcome back my friends to da clone dat never ends
We're so glad you could attend
Come inside! Come inside!
There behind da glass sits da Clone da chatroom azz
Be careful as you pass
Move along! Move along!

Come inside, da Clone's about to log
Guaranteed to show up in it's blog
Rest assured you'll get your money's worth
Da greatest Clone in heaven, hell or earth
You've got to see da Clone, it's a dynamo
You've got to see da Clone, it's a monotone

Soon da Clone using cut, and paste, and phone
Will perform a smokescreen of it's own
What a Clone! What a Clone!
Next upon the stand will you please extend a hand
To da Clone's full time Cronie band
Be a fan! Be a fan!

Performing on a stool we've a sight to make you drool
Such an idiot and a fool
Keep it cool, keep it cool
We would like it to be known the exhibits that were shown
Were exclusively da Clone
All our own, all our own
Come and see our Clone! It's a monotone! See da Clone! It's ours alone! Come and see da Clone!