Person1: SpitNTurds2 question for you what's with the baby talk?
Person 2: Rofl here we go rofl.
Person 1: Her dad was a baby and her mom could talk
SpitNTurds2: I am the daughter of a Clone and the heir of all things cloned, blogged, and logged.
Person 3: What the heck does THAT mean SpitNTurds2?
SpitNTurds2: My parents were Clones and I inherited their lack of original DNA.
Person 2: Rofl heir of all things cloned, rofl sounds like DUH to me.
Person 1: But WHY would you talk in baby talk, clone another’s screen name and log and blog all day?
SpitNTurds2: The logs and blogs are a tribute to my heritage, I have no original thoughts you know. I am related to the Great and Powerful Oz.
Person 3: Rofl with a screenname like that we know why SpitNTurds sits in the chatroom 24/7, she hasn’t had a real job since her 5150. Oh wait, she doesn’t need one, her room mate makes enough on waitressing tips to pay for all her needs.
Person 2: Rofl yeah who is going to hire someone who talks to herself and sits in a chatroom all freaking day, rofl, rofl.
SpitNTurds2: I am a da Clone, I do what the voices tell me, I log and blog all da time….
Person 1: SpitNTurds2 how the heck do you pay your bills if you don’t work?
Person 2: Rofl clone lol lol, SpitNTurds2 doesn’t need to work, she just lets the “Ex”, I mean the roommate pull the load.
Person 3: Gawd does SpitNTurds2 really think any one still believes that crap she spews?
SpitNTurds2: I am da Clone, I am da One, bow down to the One.
Person 2: Rofl you go back into your attic SpitNTurds2 and let the voices tell you what to do, rofl….can someone please check the Pennysaver, I am sure a Village has posted a wanted ad about their missing nutcase.
Person 3: Gawd SpitNTurds2’s fantasy life gets weirder every time it's told lol
Person 1: So where do you live SpitNTurds2? I know you lost the apartment in Savannah when your “pet” robbed er bit all your neighbors.
SpitNTurds2: I am in the great state of Confusion…..bow to my will….the voices tend to me.
Person 3: Rofl translation ... in the back seat of the nearest police car being taken to the nearest psych unit, rofl.
Person 2: Or in the rubber room at the jail, rofl, lol.
Person 1: How do the voices tend to you SpitNTurds2? What does that mean?
SpitNTurds2: It means what it means…I yam what I yam.
Person 1: Okay I should have known I wouldn't get an intelligent answer. I should have asked your voices, rofl, lmao.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
The Clone's Tribute to its Voices - Do You Hear What I Hear
Said da Scary Voices to da Clone,
"Do ya see what we see?
Look around ya now wittle Clone
Do ya see what we see
A blog, a blog, written late at night
All your secrets in full sight
All your secrets in full sight."
Said da Scary Voices to da Clone,
"Do you hear what we hear?
Running through your mind wittle Clone
A song, a song, the song is about you
Its okay we will tell you what to do
Its okay we will tell you what to do
Said da Scary Voices to da Clone
"Do you know what we know?
In your mind your mind you know you're number one
Do you know what we know
Run Clone, run Clone, when they catch ya all alone
They will give ya haldol and respiridone
They will give ya haldol and respiridone
Said da Clone to da Voices everywhere
"Listen to what I say!!
I will prey on everyone, everywhere
Listen to what I say!!
I'm da Clone da Clone logging all da time
I will blog and blog cause I've lost my friggin' mind
"Do ya see what we see?
Look around ya now wittle Clone
Do ya see what we see
A blog, a blog, written late at night
All your secrets in full sight
All your secrets in full sight."
Said da Scary Voices to da Clone,
"Do you hear what we hear?
Running through your mind wittle Clone
A song, a song, the song is about you
Its okay we will tell you what to do
Its okay we will tell you what to do
Said da Scary Voices to da Clone
"Do you know what we know?
In your mind your mind you know you're number one
Do you know what we know
Run Clone, run Clone, when they catch ya all alone
They will give ya haldol and respiridone
They will give ya haldol and respiridone
Said da Clone to da Voices everywhere
"Listen
I will prey on everyone, everywhere
Listen
I'm da Clone da Clone logging all da time
I will blog and blog cause I've lost my friggin' mind
Thursday, February 5, 2009
What the Clone Needs Now
What the Clone needs now is meds,
More meds
It's the only thing
That keeps the voices silent
What the Clone needs now
Is meds, more meds
I’m praying she’ll get some
But so does everyone
Clone, we don't need another fake
There are fakes and morons
Enough to click
There are loggers and bloggers
Enough to toss
Even your village
Is feeling a loss
What the Clone needs now is drugs,
More drugs
It's the only thing that the Clone has
Too little of
What the Clone needs now is drugs,
More drugs
Hallucinations are not real
No matter how you feel
Clone, we don't need another nutcase
There are nutcases
And fruitloops we don't want to know
There are screwloose and wingnuts
They all need to GO
You have no independent thought
You''re little more than a bot
What the Clone needs now is shock therapy,
More shock therapy
It's the only thing that the Clone
Has really ever known
What the Clone needs now is shock therapy,
More shock therapy
Your stories are not true
The voices are lying to you
More meds
It's the only thing
That keeps the voices silent
What the Clone needs now
Is meds, more meds
I’m praying she’ll get some
But so does everyone
Clone, we don't need another fake
There are fakes and morons
Enough to click
There are loggers and bloggers
Enough to toss
Even your village
Is feeling a loss
What the Clone needs now is drugs,
More drugs
It's the only thing that the Clone has
Too little of
What the Clone needs now is drugs,
More drugs
Hallucinations are not real
No matter how you feel
Clone, we don't need another nutcase
There are nutcases
And fruitloops we don't want to know
There are screwloose and wingnuts
They all need to GO
You have no independent thought
You''re little more than a bot
What the Clone needs now is shock therapy,
More shock therapy
It's the only thing that the Clone
Has really ever known
What the Clone needs now is shock therapy,
More shock therapy
Your stories are not true
The voices are lying to you
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The Clone's One Bourbon, One Scotch, and One Beer
Wanna tell you a story,
About the Clonie blues
The Clone come home one Friday,
Had to tell the landlady she'd lost her job
Landlady said that don't confront me
Long as I get my money next Friday
Now next Friday come Clone didn't get the rent,
And out the door it went
So the Clone goes to the landlady,
Clone said, "You let me slide?"
Clone said she'd have the rent in a month
Next, she don't know
So Clone said let me slide it on you people
Clone noticed that when she come home in the evening
Landlady ain't got nothing nice to say
But for five years she was so nice
Lordy, she was lovey-dovey
Clone come home one particular evening
The landlady said, "You got the rent money yet?"
Clone said, "No, can't find no job."
Therefore Clone ain't got no money to pay the rent
Landlady said, "I don't believe you're trying to find no job."
Said, "I see you today you standing on a corner,
Talking to yourself."
Clone said, "But I'm tired, I've been hallucinating all day."
Landlady said, "That don't confront me,
Long as I get my money next Friday."
Now next Friday come and the Clone didn't have the rent,
And out the door it went
So the Clone went down the streets
Down to a good friend's house
Clone said, "Look man I'm outdoors you know,
Can I stay with you maybe a couple days?"
Friend said, "Let me go ask the partner."
Friend come out of the house,
Clone could see it in her friend's face
Clone knew that it was no
Friend said, "I don't know man, you kinda strange, you know."
Clone said, "I know i'm kinda strange, now you strange too."
So the Clone went back home
Clone tells the landlady she got a job, she is gonna pay the rent
Land lady said, "Yeah?" Clone said, "Oh yeah."
And then the landlady was oh so nice
Lordy she was lovey-dovey
So the Clone goes in her room, packs up her things and goes.
She slips on out the back door and down the streets she went
The landlord's a howlin' about the front rent, she'll be lucky to get the back rent,
She ain't gonna get none of it
So the Clone stops in the local bar you know people,
She goes to the bar, she hangs her coat, she calls the bartender
Clone said, "Look man, come down here", he got down there
Bartender says, "So what you want?"
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
Well the Clone ain't seen her baby since we know when
She's been drinking bourbon, whiskey, scotch and gin
She is gonna get high man she is gonna get loose
She has the DT's and needs her a triple shot of that juice
She is gonna get drunk don't you have no fear
She wants one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
But the Clone's sitting now at the bar
She's getting drunk, she's feeling mellow
She's drinking bourbon, she's drinking scotch, she's drinking beer
She looked down the bar, here comes the bartender
Clone says, "Look man, come down here."
Bartenders says, "So what you want?"
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
No she ain't seen her baby since the year before last
She has gotta get a drink man she's gotta get gassed
She is gonna get high man she ain't had enough
She needs a triple shot of that stuff
She gonna get drunk won't you listen right here
She wants one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
Now by this time the Clone is plenty high
Her mouth is a getting dry, she is plenty high
She looked down the bar and says to the bartender
Clone says, "Look man, come down here", bartender got down there
Bartender says, "So what you want this time?"
Bartender says, "The clock on the wall says three o'clock
Last call for alcohol, so what you need?"
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
No the Clone ain't seen her baby since the Atlanta meet
Gotta get drunk man she can't even speak
Gonna get high man listen to me
One drink ain't enough she has to have three
She wants to get drunk, she is gonna make it real clear
She wants one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
About the Clonie blues
The Clone come home one Friday,
Had to tell the landlady she'd lost her job
Landlady said that don't confront me
Long as I get my money next Friday
Now next Friday come Clone didn't get the rent,
And out the door it went
So the Clone goes to the landlady,
Clone said, "You let me slide?"
Clone said she'd have the rent in a month
Next, she don't know
So Clone said let me slide it on you people
Clone noticed that when she come home in the evening
Landlady ain't got nothing nice to say
But for five years she was so nice
Lordy, she was lovey-dovey
Clone come home one particular evening
The landlady said, "You got the rent money yet?"
Clone said, "No, can't find no job."
Therefore Clone ain't got no money to pay the rent
Landlady said, "I don't believe you're trying to find no job."
Said, "I see you today you standing on a corner,
Talking to yourself."
Clone said, "But I'm tired, I've been hallucinating all day."
Landlady said, "That don't confront me,
Long as I get my money next Friday."
Now next Friday come and the Clone didn't have the rent,
And out the door it went
So the Clone went down the streets
Down to a good friend's house
Clone said, "Look man I'm outdoors you know,
Can I stay with you maybe a couple days?"
Friend said, "Let me go ask the partner."
Friend come out of the house,
Clone could see it in her friend's face
Clone knew that it was no
Friend said, "I don't know man, you kinda strange, you know."
Clone said, "I know i'm kinda strange, now you strange too."
So the Clone went back home
Clone tells the landlady she got a job, she is gonna pay the rent
Land lady said, "Yeah?" Clone said, "Oh yeah."
And then the landlady was oh so nice
Lordy she was lovey-dovey
So the Clone goes in her room, packs up her things and goes.
She slips on out the back door and down the streets she went
The landlord's a howlin' about the front rent, she'll be lucky to get the back rent,
She ain't gonna get none of it
So the Clone stops in the local bar you know people,
She goes to the bar, she hangs her coat, she calls the bartender
Clone said, "Look man, come down here", he got down there
Bartender says, "So what you want?"
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
Well the Clone ain't seen her baby since we know when
She's been drinking bourbon, whiskey, scotch and gin
She is gonna get high man she is gonna get loose
She has the DT's and needs her a triple shot of that juice
She is gonna get drunk don't you have no fear
She wants one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
But the Clone's sitting now at the bar
She's getting drunk, she's feeling mellow
She's drinking bourbon, she's drinking scotch, she's drinking beer
She looked down the bar, here comes the bartender
Clone says, "Look man, come down here."
Bartenders says, "So what you want?"
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
No she ain't seen her baby since the year before last
She has gotta get a drink man she's gotta get gassed
She is gonna get high man she ain't had enough
She needs a triple shot of that stuff
She gonna get drunk won't you listen right here
She wants one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
Now by this time the Clone is plenty high
Her mouth is a getting dry, she is plenty high
She looked down the bar and says to the bartender
Clone says, "Look man, come down here", bartender got down there
Bartender says, "So what you want this time?"
Bartender says, "The clock on the wall says three o'clock
Last call for alcohol, so what you need?"
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
No the Clone ain't seen her baby since the Atlanta meet
Gotta get drunk man she can't even speak
Gonna get high man listen to me
One drink ain't enough she has to have three
She wants to get drunk, she is gonna make it real clear
She wants one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
Monday, February 2, 2009
The Clone - Ms. Pathetica
HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa....the clone has no original thoughts anymore....ya lost it ya idiot...what was the final coup de grace? The songs? You're so vain, you probably thought the songs were about you, didn't you? Didn't you? Come here clonie, clonie...I'll be your Huckleberry....
Sunday, February 1, 2009
The Clone Drinks Alone
The Clone drinks alone, yeah
With nobody else
It drinks alone, yeah
With nobody else
You know why it drinks alone
The voices prefer to be by themselves
Every morning just before breakfast
The Clone don't want no coffee or tea
Just it, the voices and good buddy Wiser
That's all it ever needs
'Cause it drinks alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know why it drinks alone
The voices prefer to be by themselves
The other night the Clone lay plotting
And it awoke with terrible "DTs"
So it called up its pal Jack Daniels
And its partner Jimmy Beam
And they drank alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know why it drinks alone
The voices prefer to be by themselves
The other day the Clone got invited to a party
But the Clone stayed home instead
Just it and its pal Johnny Walker
And his brothers Black and Red
And they drank alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know why it drinks alone
The voices prefer to be by themselves
The Clone's whole family done gave up on it
And it makes it feel oh so bad
The only one who will hang out with it
Is the Clone's dear Old Grand-Dad
And they drink alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know why it drinks alone
The voices prefer to be by themselves
With nobody else
It drinks alone, yeah
With nobody else
You know why it drinks alone
The voices prefer to be by themselves
Every morning just before breakfast
The Clone don't want no coffee or tea
Just it, the voices and good buddy Wiser
That's all it ever needs
'Cause it drinks alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know why it drinks alone
The voices prefer to be by themselves
The other night the Clone lay plotting
And it awoke with terrible "DTs"
So it called up its pal Jack Daniels
And its partner Jimmy Beam
And they drank alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know why it drinks alone
The voices prefer to be by themselves
The other day the Clone got invited to a party
But the Clone stayed home instead
Just it and its pal Johnny Walker
And his brothers Black and Red
And they drank alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know why it drinks alone
The voices prefer to be by themselves
The Clone's whole family done gave up on it
And it makes it feel oh so bad
The only one who will hang out with it
Is the Clone's dear Old Grand-Dad
And they drink alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know why it drinks alone
The voices prefer to be by themselves
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